(Con)fusion
by CauseChicasLoveStarmen
Summary: Rumour has it that the two most famous companies of Diamond City, WarioWare, Inc. and Diamond Software, are about to fuse together to be a larger company soon. According to most of their employees, it's a reason to throw a grand party. However, Dr. Crygor and (especially) Wario have no idea what's going on at first.
1. Chapter 1

Today wasn't one of those average days in Diamond City.

Rumour had it that the two popular companies, WarioWare, Inc. and Diamond Software, were about to fuse together to be a larger company.

However, not everyone knew about this rumour yet, neither did they know if it would come true or not. Especially if it came to Wario, the owner of WarioWare, Inc., and Dr. Crygor, the one behind Diamond Software, thanks to his amazing invention called the MakerMatic, which made designing and making (micro)games a lot easier.

In the central building of the WarioWare, Inc., Wario and Dr. Crygor were now discussing the topic of income and being paid.

"You owe all of us a large sum of money, sir" Dr. Crygor said, "even after some of the others left your company for mine."

"I don't care" Wario said, "money isn't even that important to you guys."

"It is! I need to invest it in my best inventions to make them official around the world, because a lot of others saw them, and stated that more of them should be made."

"Such as?"

"Well, the MakerMatic, because other game companies have noticed it recently, and they all want one for easier game designing, instead of those lame old Windows 3.1 computers that they use for game design right at the moment, to name a lame and probably non-existent example."

"Who cares about the software, it's about the success of the final games, not just about their graphics."

Silence fell between the two. They just exchanged angry glares at each other, Wario's one even being more greedy.

"I care about the software" Dr. Crygor said, as he got his tablet and showed some differences between two of Wario's microgames. One was the very first prototype, which was made on a Windows 1.0 computer using its command prompt, and the other was the official and most recent version of it, which was simply and quickly made on the MakerMatic. "See? The prototype is much slower than the most recent one, and the graphics are worse and more blocky as well. Indeed, the prototype was even less of a success than the most recent final result."

"That was because I couldn't afford any good computers at first" Wario sighed, "until one day where I was gifted this way better laptop that worked on Windows XP, on which I – and I only! – designed the first few microgames of my company."

"Yes, but later on, you hired us, and then we helped you with the many subsequent microgames, but all this time, you never even paid us! You probably owe us thousands to even a few millions of dollars by now…"

The two squabbled on and on, and didn't even notice the sound of the clattering mailbox, through which a single, plain white, official-looking envelope fell.

Silence fell once again, and Wario eventually gave up.

"Fine" he sighed, "I'll pay you all, but at one condition: I'll only do this once every three years, and not during the leap years, because such years aren't even worth it."

"Guaranteed" Dr. Crygor sighed, sounding very annoyed as the idea still sounded very greedy, but agreeing with it anyways. "Wait, what's that?" He noticed the envelope, and grabbed it from the floor with an expandable robot arm he brought to show Wario before their financial argument. He opened the envelope, which turned out to be a letter in such a disguise, and started reading.

 _Good news, everyone (especially Wario)!_

 _The rumours are true. WarioWare, Inc. and Diamond Software will fuse, and from this time on, all of the employees should be paid more and in a fairer fashion! If Wario reads this, he sure should reconsider the unfair payments that are happening right now, and eventually regret his greed._

 _Sincerely,_

 _the overseer of all companies around this continent (including WarioWare, Inc. and Diamond Software, of course)_

This was all written in a formal, typewriter-ish fashion, and it even contained the official signature of the unknown company overseer.

"What does it say?" Wario asked.

Dr. Crygor decided to keep the letter's actual contents a secret, folded it back so it'd look like an envelope again, and showed Wario the text that was written on the backside, in a familiar handwriting.

 _Please come see us all the way upstairs. Thank you :)_

"I don't know who really wrote the actual stuff" Dr. Crygor said, "but one of your former employees – indeed, they may just become your employee again soon – wants us to go upstairs, so…"

Wario and Dr. Crygor took the elevator to the 20th floor of the building (as the WarioWare, Inc. grew larger, they also needed a larger building, according to Wario), and, of course, took the mysterious letter along, too.

Meanwhile, on the 20th floor itself…


	2. Chapter 2

"Guys!" 13-Amp said, sounding a bit stoic. "According to the map, that table goes into the utmost north-east corner… as fruit punch and other beverages and snacks probably don't go well together…"

Dribble and Spitz moved the table to the corner that was on the right side of the kitchen door (if one stood in front of it, at least). The table was square enough for a bowl of fruit punch and a lot of plastic cups to be stereotypically placed on.

"Are the tables in their correct positions now?" Spitz asked. "We've been doing nothing but replacing tables and sofas for ages now."

"Lessee…" 13-Amp compared the situation in the large hall to the one as stated on the map. "Yup, all perfect now." She threw the map aside and sat down on one of the sofas, where she grabbed her phone from her pocket and started texting.

"Good" Dribble said, "'cause we could use a break now, too." He and Spitz crashed onto the first unoccupied sofa they saw.

9-Volt had already prepared a whole mix of songs for the party on his computer two weeks prior, and was now playing Tetris on his Game Boy to kill some time, as the party hadn't started yet. His computer was now playing some 'casual' everyday radio music, which Mike played through his speakers, as he was connected to the sound input of the computer now.

Right now, the karaoke robot sang the unpopular song 'Young Folks' through one of his microphones.

18-Volt was bored as well, but instead, he did a silly dance to the song, which made 9-Volt and Jimmy T. laugh.

"Dude, what are you even doing?" 9-Volt laughed.

"Dancing is my job already" Jimmy T. chuckled smugly, "you should do something else in the meantime." He continued improvising some dances that best fit the music.

The hall was being decorated for the party as well. Kat and Ana used their newly-learned ninja skills to hang the garlands out and put up the mirror ball, party lights and special effects utilities, and Penny inflated some balloons using a helium tank, which the twins attached to ropes and the walls as well.

The foods for the tables were being made in the fairly small, aforementioned kitchen, where Ashley, Red, Doris 1, Mona and Orbulon were.

Ashley was busy making the fruit punch by using different suitable fruits and spells, while Red simply watched. And Doris 1 and Mona were preparing and taking care of the other drinks and snacks, which Orbulon brought to the tables that stood left of the kitchen door by using teleportation.

"Done and done" Ashley said, stoically, as she took a testing taste of the punch with her fingertip. "Oh my, this actually tastes perfect. Sweet and sour make a very good combination, in this case."

Mona couldn't help but try a bit as well.

"This ain't just good" she said, "this is amazing! Should I ask Orbulon to bring this to the punch table?"

"Of course" Ashley said, blushing at the thought of Orbulon. (She had secretly developed feelings for him throughout the last few years.)

Orbulon teleported the punch to its respective table, as well as the ladle to serve it, and the plastic cups in which the drink had to go.

"This looks wonderful" he said, "I really want to try it, but…"

"You can" Doris 1 said, "but only one fingertip, and not a whole cup, okay? The others really want some, too."

Orbulon took a taste, and nodded in agreement.

"Pretty good stuff, but not as good as my hamburgers."

"I heard that" Ashley said just as stoically, but giggled upon seeing Orbulon.

Some of the tables on the left were being occupied by all sorts of familiar foods and drinks, such as the aforementioned hamburgers, pancakes, crisps, pizza slices, all sorts of sweets, cocktail nuts, crackers with all sorts of things on them, various cookies, champagne, soda pop, coke, and Kool-Aid. The other tables were being occupied by a lot of foreign foods and drinks, such as old gateau, malasadas, Yoshi cookies, baked apples, small bowls of piping hot 'lava' soup, strawberry tofu, peanut cheese bars, hot dog sushi, Roserade tea, Saturn coffee, and a whole lot more.

Meanwhile, Penny gave a non-tied helium balloon to 18-Volt, who was still somewhat bored.

"Thanks, I guess?" 18-Volt said.

"I think you may just know what helium can do to your voice" Penny said, with a smile. "You should put that balloon in your mouth, and let it deflate for a bit, then we'll see what happens."

18-Volt did as he was instructed, as 9-Volt and Jimmy T. watched in awe, trying to hold back their laughter, as they already knew what helium did to one's voice.

"Word!" he said, his voice now being in a higher pitch because of the helium, making all of the other patrons in the hall laugh.

"Yup, that's the power of science" Penny chuckled.

"Amazing!" Kat and Ana said in unison, as they were just done decorating the hall. "Could we try, too?"

"Of course, but remember to take it slow, because too much helium isn't too good for you, either."

Meanwhile, Wario and Dr. Crygor had arrived on the corridor of the 20th floor.

"So do you think they want to meet us in the hall?" Wario asked.

"I think so" Dr. Crygor said, "as it's only being used for special occasions, and I think they want us to come for that special occasion of theirs."

"I see. Also, do you recognise that handwriting on the back of the envelope? 'Cause I do."

Dr. Crygor took a look at the short message on the envelope again.

"Indeed, now that you mention it… there's a chance that this is Mona's handwriting. How could she be behind this? She changes side jobs, like, every month."

"We'll see how she – and possibly a lot of the others – may be behind this, and the only way to discover this, is by entering the hall."

The twosome was about to enter the hall, where a slight surprise of their lifetimes would probably await them…


	3. Chapter 3

Soon enough, everything and everyone in the hall was ready, the 'casual' music stopped, the larger speakers were now plugged into 9-Volt's computer, the curtains were closed, and Orbulon made sure that the lights and special effects were turned on as well, by using his teleportation.

Mike handed one of his microphones to 9-Volt, who was about to hold his opening speech.

"Thanks" 9-Volt said, and subsequently spoke through the microphone. "Alright, ladies and gentlemen. At first, I'd like to say: thank you very much for coming to this party. Now, let us celebrate the fu—" Just as he wanted to say 'fusion', Wario and Dr. Crygor entered the hall, and looked around in surprise, but Dr. Crygor immediately got it why he and Wario had to go upstairs to see this.

"What's going on in here?" Wario asked.

"Haven't you heard?" Mona said. "Your two companies, the WarioWare, Inc. and Diamond Software, are going to fuse to a larger company, which means that we all will be your employees again… and this is also a legit reason to throw a party like this!" She chuckled softly upon seeing the envelope in Dr. Crygor's hand.

"I hope this was also a legit reason for me to come" Doris 1 said, "because all I normally do is nothing but cleaning the Crygors' lab, which I find mere nonsense."

"This'll be a music party, as you can see" Kat explained.

"Rather quite" Ana added.

"And you can dance, too" Jimmy T. said, "if you want to, at least."

"And there are helium balloons, too!" Penny said, "because a party is not a party without the helium balloons! Right, gramps?"

"That's right, Penny" Dr. Crygor said. "Also, I knew about the whole fusion thing already, but not about the party to celebrate it, so it's very nice of you guys to have hosted it!" He looked at the walls, and saw the balloons float, with their ropes stuck onto the walls. "Okay… I thought those balloons would be used for playing with voices? You know, like a lot of people do at parties with such balloons…"

In response, 18-Volt inhaled some more helium out of the balloon he still had, and grabbed the microphone that 9-Volt was holding.

"This'll be the most amazing party you can imagine, I promise!" he said, making the other patrons, save Wario, but especially Dr. Crygor, laugh again.

"So if I'm not utterly mistaken" Wario asked, "this'll be a music party? Amazing. Tell me, what kind of music will there be? The stuff that makes you happy?" He started singing out of tune. "This here is Mona Pizza, makers of the world's best eats-a! Fresh sauce and cheese galore, brought straight to your front door…!"

"Aw, no!" everyone said in a disapproving tone.

"Are you trying to ruin my song or something?" Mona asked, trying to hold back her laughter, as it happened to be her crush singing her song.

"Alright, alright" Wario said, as he stopped singing. "Then, will there be music that makes you sad?" Again, he started singing out of tune. "Every night in my dreams, I see you, I feel you, that is how I know you go on…"

"Oh my gosh, no!" Mike said, as he covered the spots where his ears were supposed to be. "Please, no sad songs!"

"The memories!" Orbulon exclaimed, as the song reminded him of a certain famous movie in which it was heard at a very sad moment.

"Stop it!" 9-Volt said. "I'm gonna cry even more when I hear this crooked version of the song!"

Again, Wario stopped singing, and the others all sighed in relief.

"Alright, fine! How about music that makes you silent?" He resumed singing again. "Well, Cuphead gambled with the Devil, thought he'd win a hefty purse… Mugman came along to help him…"

"Cut it out!" everyone said, "you know you can't sing!"

"I can sing way better than you" Mike stated.

"What he said" Dr. Crygor said, confirming Mike's statement.

9-Volt grabbed the microphone back from 18-Volt's grasp and spoke.

"Well, Wario, you're all wrong! Right here, you'll neither hear music that makes us happy, nor music that makes us sad, nor music that makes us silent!"

"Exactly" 18-Volt added, still having the high-pitched helium voice, making the many others laugh again.

"Then" Wario asked, "what kind of music will I hear?"

"Music that'll make you angry!" 13-Amp said. "I know you and your music taste very well by now."

"Don't talk nonsense, 13-Amp! There's no such thing as music that makes me angry!"

The two continued squabbling about music for a little while, until the familiar sound of a high pitch produced by a microphone was heard.

"Okay, okay" 9-Volt interrupted them, "enough with the jabbering about music. Now, please let me finish my speech." He cleared his throat. "Let us celebrate the fusion of the WarioWare, Inc. and Diamond Software, our two popular and most beloved companies, with this amazing party." He raised his voice in an enthusiastic fashion after having said this. "Are you all ready?"

"Yeah!" everyone except for Wario replied just as enthusiastically.

"18-Volt, my P2 – and musical assistant for today –, are you ready, too?"

"Word!" 18-Volt called out through the microphone.

"Then, I'd say: let's do it!" 9-Volt gave the microphone back to Mike. "Thanks for letting me do the speech with your microphone."

"No problem" Mike said, attaching the microphone back onto his head.

9-Volt started up the music, and just as soon, the popular song 'Levels' was blaring from the speakers as loudly as possible.

Everyone, except for Wario, started partying, singing, and cheering. (Yup, even Ashley, who immediately sought Orbulon to be her dance partner!)

'She was right' Wario thought, 'this indeed is music that makes me angry.' Then, he said, aloud: "13-Amp, I guess you were right, after all! I'm leaving!"

But 13-Amp barely heard him, as the music played very loudly.

"Not without this" Dr. Crygor said, handing Wario the letter. "You should read it in the corridor."

Wario left the hall, and took his time to read the letter in peace, as the corridor was way quieter, and the door to the hall barely let sound pass through when closed.

"I see" he said to himself, "so this is why Dr. Crygor and I had to go upstairs? And why did I never know about this? This is amazing news!" He threw the letter aside. "I should probably tag along with everyone else and not care about the lame music that's being played right now, why am I so boring and greedy anyways?" He re-entered the hall, and was greeted warmly by Kat and Ana.

"So you reconsidered?" they asked in unison. "That's very nice."

Wario simply nodded, and took a seat on one of the sofas, where he, Dribble and Spitz started a conversation regarding him not knowing about the fusion of the companies.

"That news was confirmed to us about two weeks ago" Dribble said, "but we consciously decided to keep that a secret from you, as we weren't quite sure about your reaction."

"I thought you were going to get angry about it!" Spitz stated, "but look at you now! And I don't think you knew that Mona wrote the message on the back of the letter, either!"

Wario simply blushed and chuckled upon hearing the name Mona.

Doris 1 and Orbulon came towards the trio to tell their parts of the news.

"Actually" Doris 1 said, "the letter regarding the fusion got sent to us two weeks ago, and… did Dribble already give you information on keeping it a secret?"

Wario nodded. "I don't even mind anymore, because this way, we can become colleagues again, and I promise to be fair to you guys this time if it comes to being paid!"

"When I just teleported to the ground floor with that letter" Orbulon said, "I overheard you and Dr. Crygor argue about that already, and that's when I decided to pop the letter through your office's mailbox, but you probably noticed that too late. Oh well." Afterwards, he went back to Ashley, who impatiently waited for him with two cups of punch, one of them being for him.

Doris 1 went to Mike, and joined him to dance for a bit.

"So Wario does want to party now?" 13-Amp said, seeing Wario talk busily with Dribble and Spitz now. "He sure is kind of a weirdo."

"He's always been like that" Jimmy T. said, "but okay, decisions are always difficult, as you may already know." He grooved on to the last few seconds of the track before the new one started to play. "Me, I just dance them all off for now."

"That's right. But to be honest… I wish I didn't come to this party at all. You see, it lacks rap music and… sensation?" 13-Amp became surprised upon hearing the first few 'wave-spacey' sounds of the next track come through the speakers. "Wait, is that Alien Mushroom?"

"It won't lack rap music soon…" 18-Volt said, having overheard her. "About two tracks later, rap will be heard, specially for you!"

"Then, it's good. Wanna be my dance partner?"

Soon enough, 13-Amp and 18-Volt were dancing together.

"The magic of music and bringing people together…" Penny said. "This party sure is a success among the crushes, I must say."

"That's right" 9-Volt said, "in that case, I do guess that it's a good thing I chose this remix of _Fallin' Love_ , then." He and Penny looked around the hall, and saw how a few (also aforementioned) twosomes were dancing to the music, in a somewhat romantic fashion. Even Wario and Mona had come together to dance a few minutes ago, because she wanted to let him experience a real fun party for a genuine reason.

For the rest of the evening, the group made the most of it during the party, doing all sorts of things: enjoying the various snacks and beverages (but most importantly, the punch), having fun with the leftover balloons and helium, having various people to talk to and partners to dance with, et cetera.

But the most important reason why they all were happy, was that soon, they'd become each other's colleagues again after the fusion, and that their payments and such would become more fair, too.

 _((Did you know? The second song that 9-Volt played, really exists, too, as it's a remix made by me! Just enter something in the way of 'alien mushroom fallin love' in YouTube's search bar, give it a listen, and if you want, please let me know what you think of it.))_


End file.
